Pansy Cake
by Heaven-is
Summary: An Amity transfer and a new group of Dauntless friends. Set during Eric's initiation. Eric/OC.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or the Divergent world. Those belong to author Veronica Roth. With that being said, this is an Eric/OC story set in Eric's initiation/first year. Some content will follow "The Transfer" from Roth's collection, _Four,_ but it'll be slow moving in the beginning so that I can develop the story and characters.

"I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I _had_ begun." - Jane Austen

* * *

Growing up in Amity, I'm supposed to be peaceful. And I am, _I swear I am._ But I'm also restless. The orchards were the best part. I remember the running, wild and free, between the rows and rows of trees. There, I could be me. Out there no one told me to _calm down_. I could run and stretch and feel the cool morning air whip through my hair, the faint sweet smell of apples filling my lungs.

From a young age, I wrestled with the idea of remaining in my faction. Amity was kind, and growing up under the sun was the perfect picture of childhood. The restlessness within me was always there, though. And as I grew, that restlessness grew into a glow inside of me. I wondered, would I be content in these orchards for the rest of my days? Having this thought, I knew choosing to remain in my origin faction was wrong. I knew that having even the smallest ounce of doubt meant that it wasn't right.

I had seen the other children at school. Those in grey always helping people; as an Amity, I felt I could do that. But they were so stifled. Those in blue, so intelligent and logical. My mother had always sang me songs and told me silly poems as we worked on the harvest, but I had seen the way those in blue lived. They too would be too stifling. Those in black and white were honest, sometimes honest to the point of cruelty. Amity had shaped me in a way that black and white would never have even been an option for me. But those in black, they were the ones I really watched. Running, letting their energy take over their bodies, encouraged to let it out. Dauntless. The place where strength and movement were channeled into defending peace. The place where courage is used to stand up for one another. Dauntless. The place where I could be Amity _and_ be myself.

* * *

The day of the aptitude test was a day of nervous excitement. My mother, always joyful, flowed into my sleeping room and woke me in her usual singsong way, "Rise and shine, sweetpea," then added, "You've got a test to take".

I rose, and told myself to shine as I dressed and began to make the trip into town. The other youths in my faction were all waiting in the center of the compound so we could all sing our way to the test. These small things were why I loved Amity. Taking joy in the small parts of the day was so engrained in me, and I knew I would always live with this in my heart.

Once we arrived, we sat around at tables snacking on apples and filling the room with our laughter. I couldn't help but let my eyes wander, again falling on the other factions. Watching the other students, I finally told myself that this would be the last time I sat with my faction as an Amity. No matter the results, I would be choosing Dauntless at the choosing ceremony. Upon this admission, I felt both happy and sad, but ready to make my life my own.

What pulls me out of my thoughts is a woman in gray calling my name.

"Marigold Hinton."

I walked into the room, suddenly faced with dozens of images of myself: mirrored walls. I hopped into the chair in the center of the room and attempted to smile at the Abnegation woman who would be administering my test. She met my eyes and gave a small nod as she attached at wire to my temple. She simply said, "This is a serum that will put you into a simulation. It will help decide what faction you should be in." Then she stuck a needle into my neck and ejected the serum.

Suddenly, before me was a table with two items: cheese and a knife, and a voice in my head told me to choose one. I had never handled a knife that large or sharp, so I chose the cheese. As soon as my fingers grasped the wedge, the table disappeared and in its place was a dog. I offered him the cheese and as soon as he had eaten it, he began to lick my hands. Laughter bubbled up through my chest.

At this, my eyes sprang open and I realized the test was over. My eyes moved to the administer and she gave a small smile, looked to the screen in front of her, and told me my results were Amity.

The results didn't change my mind. I was happy to know that I was kind to the core, but I also knew that the test had only looked for my allegiance with my own faction. The test didn't know that I was also wild, and vivacious, and _aching_ to move. My faction may not be happy with my impeding choice, but I was, and therefore knew that my mother would be too.

The night before the Choosing ceremony, I laid out my summer cropped pants and a cotton rust red sleeveless top. I knew that Dauntless meant movement, and I wanted something I could run in. I also packed my few possessions into a small sack that could easily be strapped to my back. It included two small books of poetry that my mother had given me years earlier. I wasn't sure if they would be allowed in Dauntless with me, but I had to try because they were the only things of my mother that I would have after my choice.


	2. Chapter 2

The choosing ceremony went by in a blur. All I remember is that there was not even an ounce of hesitation as I dropped my blood over the coals and the roar of cheer and applause as Dauntless ushered me into their section. Then running. Lots of running. And the familiar feeling of laughter as I was finally free to run as I pleased. As I clutched the straps of my bag, I followed dozens of men and women outfitted in black, and a few streaked with white or blue, and even an abnegation grey! I saw those in black begin climbing up to the ledge of the train platform, and didn't even hesitate to follow. At the top of the platform, I heard the rumble of an oncoming train and gleeful whooping all around me. I joined in the screaming and caught on quickly to my fellow initiates running, and… _jumping?_

 _Okay,_ I thought. _This is what I wanted, this freedom to move. I can do this._ I began running with them the others, watching them to see if it was actually _possible_ to jump into a moving train. I saw several of them grab handles next to the open doors and pull themselves in. So as I was running, I lifted my arm in the air, keeping my eyes open for the next handle. As soon as I saw it, my arm was reaching… and I had it! Grasping the handle, I pulled myself into the moving train. I had practice from climbing the branches of the apple trees in the Amity orchards. Once inside the train, I stumbled, but gained my footing just as a girl in white rolled in behind me. I grabbed her hand and helped her up with a smile. She gave me a once-over, chuckled, and introduced herself.

"Elizabeth. Used to be Candor, but always knew I was born for Dauntless. Never thought I'd meet an Amity on my first day."

"Marigold," I said with a smile. "And I _was_ Amity, but I'm Dauntless now." I chuckled, and shook my head.

"I can't believe you didn't try to hug me." I half forced a laugh. I actually _had_ held myself back from hugging her, but she didn't need to know that. Instead, I lightly punched her shoulder. That's more Dauntless, right?

We turned to look at the buildings we were passing, and I wondered aloud, "I wonder what we'll have to do when we get to Dauntless." For the rest of the train ride we pondered what we thought we'd have to do for training, and talked about all of the rumors we had heard throughout our time at school.

"I heard we have to sit in a room filled with snakes," Elizabeth said. I attempted to quell her unease by telling her about the gardener snakes I had seen on the compound. They were small, and yes, they were creepy and gross, but they seemed to be more scared of people and tended to get out of people's way.

A tall boy in Erudite blue was leaning against the train wall next to us listening, and chimed in with a "That's true. Gardener snakes, while carnivores, only eat what they can overpower. Because of their size, typically about 22 inches, the largest animal in their diet is a rodent. Either of you would be too large." I laughed and Elizabeth rolled her eyes.

"I'm Marigold, and this is Elizabeth" I told the boy. He gave a curt nod and turned his back to us. I gave Elizabeth a look that said _so much for that_ , and she blurted, "Wow, what an ass." Candor honesty, but I had to agree.

At this moment, everyone began to stand and fidget, and I heard someone shout "They're jumping!" _Jumping?!_ Onto what!? My stomach was in knots with more nervous excitement, and I exchanged raised eyebrow looks with Elizabeth. I peeked my head out of the train door and saw the Dauntless in the cars ahead of us jumping onto a roof. Our train car was almost near the roof, which meant it was almost time for us to jump. Elizabeth and I nodded, taking a few steps back so we could get a running start, then I was running. My mind was clear and suddenly I was suspended in midair. It felt like hours and seconds all at once, and then I crashed. Small rocks were digging into my kneecaps and palms as I landed on all fours. Elizabeth was a few feet away from me sitting up on her knees, wiping some blood from her lip. When she caught my eye, she smirked and I laughed in relief.

We both stood up and brushed the rocks and dirt off of our legs and made our way over to the crowd forming. A man steps up on a ledge by the group, and says, "Welcome to Dauntless! Where you either face your fears and try not to die in the process, or you leave a coward. We've got a record low of faction transfers this year, unsurprisingly." His voice is booming. I look around at the transfers and Dauntless-born, counting six of us. The rude Erudite boy from the train, two Candor boys, the boy from Abnegation, Elizabeth and I. Six transfers. The man continues, "The only way to get into the Dauntless compound from this rooftop is to jump off this ledge," then makes a motion like he's going to fall, then grins mischievously.

 _Another jump_ , I think. Welcome to Dauntless. A handsome boy in all black steps up, and someone shouts, "Go, Zeke!" He looks like he accidently falls, and I hear Elizabeth gasp beside me. I look sideways at her and she whispers, "They wouldn't kill their initiates on the first day…" and I not in agreement. I didn't hear a scream or any commotion at the bottom of the hole, so he must be okay.

After Zeke, everyone starts lining up to jump. Elizabeth and I get in line for our jump. Once it was my turn, I stood on the ledge and didn't look down. I spread my arms wide, as if I was going in for a hug, and let myself fall backwards.

 _This was it. That feeling of freedom._ If I had any doubt, it was squashed as soon as I took that jump. This was the feeling that I had been craving my whole life, and Dauntless was going to help me satisfy that feeling.


	3. Chapter 3

To anon, here's a little official introduction to Eric. :)

This is a short one but thanks for reading; I welcome any feedback or suggestions!

* * *

The man on the ledge introduced himself as Amar, and told us that he was our initiation instructor. He gave us a tour of the Dauntless compound. It was dark and damp. This would take some getting used to. Did this place even have any windows to get sunlight?

As we walked, I began to hear the sounds of flowing water. I got excited at this, thinking it might be a peaceful place to spend time, but as we walked the sound got louder and seemingly more violent. The flowing sound turned to crashing, as we turned a sharp corner and stopped on a ledge. Amar announced that this was the Chasm, telling us that if we fell – or jumped – we would surely meet death. That is one jump that I will certainly not be making.

We kept walking, and I heard the noise of hundreds of Dauntless members. Amar shouted over the whooping and chatting, "This is called the Pit. It's where most members spend their free time." As I looked around, I saw benches and open space, as well as shops all around. It was like our own city within the compound. The excitement within me was making me antsy, and I wriggled my eyebrows at Elizabeth. She grabbed my arm and we made our way forward with the rest of the group.

After a few minutes and turns that left me directionally disoriented, Amar stopped, turned towards us, and smirked. "Transfers," _I didn't like the grin on his face_. "This is where you'll be staying for the next ten weeks." I tried to peek over a Candor-transfer's shoulder, but he was so tall. Amar turned to leave, and said he'd be back in an hour to get us for dinner in the mess hall. Once he left, the six of us walked into our dorm. Those in front of me groaned, and when I was through the door I saw why. Rows of cots, showers, toilets… all out in the open. I was no Abnegation, but Elizabeth and I were the only girls, which made the bathroom situation weird.

Elizabeth nudged me, and had wide eyes. We looked around, and she and I walked through the rows of cots until we reached the wall. Both of us claimed the beds that were against the wall, and the four boys filled in next to us. The cot next to me was taken by the Erudite boy, and on the other side of him was the boy from Abnegation. The two cots in Elizabeth's' row were taken by the two Candor boys.

Sitting on my cot, I smiled at the other transfers. "Well," I started. "Since we're going to be living so closely, should we try to get to know each other?" The Erudite boy from the train scoffed, and I'm pretty sure I heard him mutter "Amity" under his breath. I ignored it, he really was an ass. Elizabeth began.

"I'm Elizabeth. Liz. This should be interesting."

The tall Candor boy who had blocked me spoke, "Jake, and this is Robert." Jake: tall and blond. Robert: also tall but instead of blond had black short hair. Liz gave me a look that said _He's cute!_ I laughed quietly, and then looked to the Abnegation boy.

He just looked at us, not speaking.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," the Erudite said with an eye roll. "Stiff," he pointed at the Abnegation boy.

Liz scoffed and asked, "And you are…?"

He smugly stated, "Eric. And I'm all of your biggest competition." I could feel Eric sizing us all up. The boy from Abnegation, who I refused to call Stiff, looked tense and uncomfortable. Jake and Robert seemed friendly enough, and seeing as this was going to be our home for the next ten weeks, I figured we all should get along. I had decided I was going to put my Amity upbringing to good use. I was going to make the Abnegation boy feel comfortable and included, and I was going to break Eric. There is good somewhere in everyone… right?


	4. Chapter 4

Amar came to get us an hour later, bringing with him clothes for the six of us. Before heading to the mess hall for dinner, we all changed into our new Dauntless black. I had never worn anything this dark before, and it felt like it clashed with my sun-tanned skin. This was my faction now, though, and I knew I would soon begin to feel powerful in these colors.

I shoved my bag under the mattress, because I was still unsure if I was allowed to have it. No one had said anything about it, but I didn't want to take any chances. Eric eyed me but didn't speak. I gave him a small guilty smile, then walked toward the exit to catch up with Liz as she and the others began to follow Amar.

As we entered the mess hall, I saw a sea of black. Liz, Jake, and Robert found an empty table, and I tugged on the Abnegation transfer's arm and pointed to a seat. I looked to Eric, standing in the isle, then motioned for him to sit next to me. He pursed his lips but sat anyway. Opening him up might be easier than I thought.

The table was filled with plates of food: potatoes, hamburgers, steamed vegetables, and _cake._ At that, my eyes went wide. I reached for the chocolate cake, and, as an after thought, scooped some vegetables onto a plate.

Trying to be responsible, I forced myself to eat the vegetables before the cake. Amity eat lots of fruit and vegetables, so it was nice to have a little taste of home, but I was eager to get to the chocolate cake.

Oh.

My.

God.

This cake! What was in this?! Why isn't everyone eating it? I looked around the table, and everyone was eating piles of food except for the boy from Abnegation. I got an extra slice of the cake and slid it over to him with a smile, but he just stared at it, looking confused. Robert saw and said, "Abnegation don't indulge in sweets. They give all of their food to the factionless."

"That's why he's so scrawny," Eric chided, and I shot him a look. He rolled his eyes but went back to eating. Then the boy from Abnegation took a bite of the cake! A huge grin spread across my face as I watched, and he let out a small chuckle. Success. The rest of dinner went on well, mostly with Jake and Liz flirting and Robert cracking jokes.

Towards the end of dinner, Amar found us and told us we would be going into something called a "fear landscape" so that we could "confront our worst fears," Amar said.

Eric was interested, asking, "How is that possible? You don't know our worst fears."

Amar explained that it's similar to our aptitude test, except this time we will be aware that it's not real. He told us we need to regulate our heart in order to move to the next fear. Once we left the mess hall, he led us to the fear simulation room, where he beckoned Eric to the front of the group, "Allow me to satisfy your Erudite curiosity. You get to go first." Eric tried to argue, but Amar _is_ the instructor, after all, so Eric let him inject the serum into his neck.

I was nervous. I told myself that it was because I would have to go through it myself, but I knew deep down that it was because I was worried he may not be as much of a hardass as he seemed.

But Eric just stood there. Hands down at his side, staring at the glass. Barely moving. And then it was over, and I felt myself relaxing. I hadn't even realized I was so tense. He scanned our group, smirked, then turned to Amar.

Amar looked at him, expression blank, and told him, "You're free to go, be up at 8 tomorrow for training. Don't be late." Without a glance back to us, Eric walked out.

* * *

The line began to dwindle. After Eric, Robert went through his landscape. Watching him, it was the complete opposite of Eric. Robert thrashed his arms, yelped, and even fell to the ground kicking his legs and rolling about. I couldn't even begin to imagine what he was seeing.

After what felt like hours, Robert opened his eyes. He was finished but couldn't seem to stop shaking.

Amar nodded to Robert, then said to all of us, "You'll be shaken up, but think about what these fears mean and find a way to live with them. You'll be seeing them several more times before initiation is done. Don't let them get to you. Robert, you're free to go."

At that, Robert seemed to jump then hurry towards the exit. Seeing him like that made me feel nauseous. I still had to wait for Jake and Liz before it was my turn. I couldn't stop myself from wondering what my fears were. Was I going to writhe on the floor and yell in pain? How had Eric stayed still during his landscape? I tried to keep my mind occupied with these thoughts so I wouldn't have to watch Jake and Liz react to their fears.

Finally, Amar, the boy from Abnegation, and I were the only ones left. The boy was ringing his hands, eyebrows creased, and looking like his mind was in the same place as mine. Amar called my name, breaking me out of my thoughts.

I took a deep breath and stepped forward as Amar got the serum ready.

 _I was in the Amity fields. The sun was shining down and everything was warm. I was walking up and down the rows picking pea pods, when I feel a sharp pain strike my hand. It happened so quickly that I didn't see what hit me, but I felt the pain and saw blood come to the surface of my skin._

 _Then all at once, I was being attacked. My hands, my arms, my face, neck, thighs, everywhere. Birds, which I had always admired, were pecking me to the point where I just knew it would be to death. I tried to swat them away from my face, failing miserably. I was screaming, and felt tears stinging the cuts in my skin._

 _My instinct told me to use my legs. I kept my head ducked, kept my arms in front of my face as I ran towards the trees. At least there I would have_ some _coverage. I reached a tree trunk and crouched down, hugging it, waiting for the pain to stop._

 _Then instead of pecking, I felt a gentle hand rest upon my shoulder. A sweet voice, like a song, greeting me, "Hello, sunshine." My mother!_

 _I looked up to her, laughter dancing on my lips. "Let's climb, child" she spoke. We did this, sometimes. Racing to the top of the trees to watch the setting sun._

 _And so we began. My calloused hands were reaching higher and higher, all the while the sound of our laughter was in the breeze. I had reached the highest branch, and peeked my head above the leaves._

 _I called out to my mother, "I beat you!" Looking down, I saw her begin to smile, then heard a loud snap. Her branch had broken, and I jerked my arm down to reach her, but it was too late. With her hand outstretched towards me, eyes filled with fear, I watched her fall._

 _Tears sprung up into my eyes, and as I began to blink them away she was gone. And I was again in the orchard. This time, plucking flowers from the earth as I built a bouquet. The flowers were beautiful, but I had a sinking feeling in my stomach: the memory of my mother falling was still fresh in my mind._

 _My gut was right. As I reached for a bright fuchsia flower a bee flew out of its center and stung me on the wrist. It seemed like a stream coming from the flower, stinging me all over. I could hear myself screaming, yelling at the bees to stop. If I could just give in to the pain, they would stop._

 _I knew I had to react the same way to the bees as I had with the birds, so I crouched on the ground, forcing myself to breath through the pain._

 _And I kept breathing._

 _And the stinging stopped._

 _I felt nothing, but the sun on my back. And again I began to choose the best flowers for my bouquet, knowing it was a trap, but being unable to stop. Slowly wandering through the rows, I felt a tickle on my ankle._

 _I looked down, but again didn't react quickly enough. The vines from the field began snaking up my legs, to my abdomen, binding my arms to my sides. This time I knew not to fight it. I let the vines twist up my shoulders and around my neck, curling over my face and tightening. I shut my eyes, not struggling, and entered darkness._

 _I felt the pressure disappear, and I opened my eyes. I was in the cab of one of the Amity trucks. A faceless man in red was driving, but we weren't in Amity anymore. We were driving through the city. I recognized this area; the potholes, fallen lights, and garbage littering the streets told me we were in the factionless territory. The driver was racing, not paying attention to the holes in the road, nor any of the other surroundings._

 _My eyes were scanning the streets rapidly, and I caught sight of a child. I yelped in surprise and warning to my driver, but again I was too late. I felt a thud, and was thrust forward into the strap across my chest. The driver was cackling, and I was again crying. I could hear whimpers, knowing it was coming from the child, but being paralyzed by the seatbelt, fear, and sadness. I couldn't help the child._

 _Upon this realization, I began to breathe. In and out. Calming myself down was the only way out of this landscape. It wasn't real. In and out._

 _And it worked. The child was gone. The driver was gone. But the walls of the car were closing in on me. The roof was shrinking towards my head. Being from Amity, I was used to the openness of the fields. I hated being cramped. As with the birds and the bees, I curled myself into the smallest ball I could, and the walls grew tighter. Once the walls were flush against me, they stopped moving. This fear was over._ How many more fears did I have?!

 _I opened my eyes, and was now in an opposite environment: An open field. No trees, no brush, just me. And… snowflakes? It was so beautiful. I uncurled myself, leaning back and spreading my arms and legs, enjoying the fresh flakes. Was I really afraid of something so peaceful?_

 _I don't know how long I lied there, but the snow began to pile up. I felt the feeling of impending danger; so I began to stand up, ready to fight. But I couldn't move. The piling snow had gotten heavy. The thought came to me: I just have to let it cover me. Keep calm and keep breathing. I was going to get through this hell._

 _It worked, I instantly felt as light as a feather. Satisfied, I felt a smile threaten to pull at my cheeks. Thinking my landscape was over I opened my eyes and was met with the night sky. The stars were shining brightly, contrasting with the black sky. Wishing to grasp the grass so I could feel grounded, I realized that the reason I felt so light is because I was floating. Panic rushed from my brain to my lungs, and instantly I was gasping for breath and thrashing my body about, looking for something solid. Yet I just kept rising. Instead of crashing to the ground, I began to rise._

 _Black. Only black. Falling up. Dread was rising in my stomach, as I felt completely helpless, and completely hopeless. This time I couldn't move to curl into a ball. The feeling of falling up seemed to never end._

"Marigold. _Marigold._ It's okay; it's over. Go take a walk. Shake it off." Amar. It was over. _Finally._

I was on the floor, spread out and covered in a cold sweat. I reached around me, feeling solid ground, and felt a wave of relief wash over me. I used the floor to shakily push myself up.

I began to make my way towards the exit, giving a glance to the last boy left. It seems that watching everyone go through their landscape had not been good for him. He was pale and couldn't meet my eyes.

I mentally wished him luck, and walked out.

My mind was preoccupied with my fears. I ran through them: birds; death of my mother; bees; flowers leading to death; death of innocent; small spaces; suffocation; open spaces. Eight fears. I wondered what the average was.

Not paying attention mixed with the fact that this was my first day in Dauntless, I became lost. I didn't mind, though, the walking was clearing my head. I had been walking for several minutes before I saw someone in the shadow, crouched down and hunched over. Curiosity led me to them.

I realized it was Eric, the initiate from Erudite. His head shot up at the sound of my footsteps, but his expression was blank.

Giving him a small smile, I sat on the floor beside him. His breathing was ragged, and I recognized the sound in my own breath. The fear landscape had gotten to him after all. Slowly, I moved my hand to cover his, which was sitting on the floor beside him. He flinched, and inclined his head towards me a fraction, let out a sigh, and put his head back down. He didn't move his hand though, so I tightened mine around him, warming his skin.

I don't know how long we sat there like that, but the effect was soothing. Maybe Eric wasn't such an ass after all. Maybe all he needed was someone to be beside him.


End file.
